Sometimes I struggle to understand my gender.



(Comic courtesy of

I recently started a new warehouse job at the local Italian market now that school is finished. While it’s not overly interesting, its decent money and more hours than my last job. My experience at this new job has been ok so far. The work is hard, people are friendly and I get free lunch everyday from the deli (which is a pretty sweet deal).  But I find myself surrounded by a bunch of men, most of which are old Italian men.  

Throughout most of my adult life, the majority of my work experience has been in call centers or other office type jobs. So I’m used to being in an environment that’s a higher ratio of females than males. It’s like that with my friendships as well. I have a pretty female oriented friendship base with only a small handful of male friends. In fact its been almost 10 years since I worked around so many guys. In my first week at this new job so far I have had at least 3 instances where I was completely baffled by my gender. 

During my second day there, one of the guys at lunch was sharing a porno he likes on his phone and passing it around between the guys all proud of it like it was some great accomplishment. Later that same day a different delivery driver exclaimed proudly that he regularly cheats on his wife, and that he doesn’t give a shit if his wife knows, much to the delight of his fellow coworkers. And then today I had an Italian man (also named Mike) show me and two other coworkers a dirty photo he took of some girl he was fooling around with in the back of his delivery truck. 

Now don’t get me wrong. I’m not a prude, I’m quite comfortable in my sexuality and have no difficulties talking about sex in front of other people. But this whole macho, alpha male, bragging about sexual conquests type bonding men do I just don’t understand. Maybe its because I’m surrounded by fresh outta high school boys and dirty old men, but I felt completely awkward when faced with each of these situations. Especially because 95% of their discussions are demeaning and objectifying women, which I just have no respect for. Honestly its outdated and pathetic to witness. 

So I’m not sure how long I’ll last at this job. I mean it’s good for now and its an upgrade from my previous employment. But I can’t see myself staying there long. I no longer desire to join in on this male need to stroke my sexual ego when around other men. I wonder if other guys feel the same way I do? I’m sure I’m not the only one who could do without this type of male bonding. 

Anyway thanks for reading folks. I’ll have this weeks writing challenge up by the end of the day Wednesday for those of you who care.