When I grow up………

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I’ve spent a good part of my life confused about who I am, who I want to be and what my contribution to the world will be? Since I was a teen I’ve been struggling with the eternal question “who do I want to be when I grow up?”. Well I’m grown up now and I’m still asking myself that same question, struggling with the same feelings and doubts about myself.

Having spent the past 2 years preparing for College so I can establish myself in a career of my choosing, finally taking my first steps towards an answer to that question. Going back and finishing off what I didn’t complete in high school was an extremely positive and uplifting experience for me. More so than I could have imagined. Though I find myself doubting the choices I made again.

I know my decisions over the past few years have been the right ones, and that I’ve made significant progress forward in my life. But I can’t help but feel like I’m still no more closer to answering that question. I’m beginning to wonder if there even is an answer. Does anyone really know who they were meant to become? I don’t know, maybe my doubts come from my risk averse personality and no matter how far I succeed I’ll doubt myself.

All I know is that I’m not happy with who I am right now. I’ve accomplished so little while I see others my age who have accomplished so much. It’s disheartening. I keep telling myself I’m destined to have more impact on the world than just taking up space. I just wish I could figure out what it was.

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