Time has never been a friend. And once again I’ve been betrayed, By the weight of what I know
And the choices that I’ve made – Good Riddance
I often wonder how differently my life would have been if at critical moments in my history I had made choice B instead of choice A. I’m sure everyone feels that way at some point in their lives. As the saying goes hindsight is 20/20. It’s just funny how as the end of my schooling (for a short while) approaches, just how much more frequently I find myself going back to that question regarding many past decisions I’ve made. I suspect it’s a part of growing up to look back and wonder “what the fuck was I thinking?”
With the end of my time at community college only a month away I can’t help but second guess myself about the big decision I have to make soon, regarding if I wish to continue towards a career in graphic design or pursue an alternate career path. Its that decision in particular that has kept me from being successful in my education in the past. Every time it comes to making a choice regarding my future I always panic and end up changing my mind which puts me back to square one. It’s a frustrating situation because I know I’m the cause of the problem, yet solving the indecisiveness and making a concrete decision about my future seems to elude me. It is all the more frustrating when I observe other people who seem to be able to make this type of choice without second guessing themselves. I’m envious of their ability to make a decision and not continually fret afterwards that they made a big mistake.
So on the advice of someone very dear to me (who also happens to be my biggest supporter) this time around I’m going to throw caution out the window and stick with my plan to become a graphic designer. I’ve always let my fear of failure decide for me which is why I haven’t succeeded. If there’s anything I’ve learned from my past mistakes is that the only thing preventing me from succeeding is my own trepidation.
Once again, thanks to all those who took the time to read today’s post. Comments/questions are always welcome and encouraged.